You don't need to use a condom
You don't need a dental dam
You don't need to say "I Love You" or "Here's
Fifty
Dollars, Ma'am."
Don't need to spring for dinner,
Or wear all that sexy stuff
All you need's a set of fingers and a puller or a muff
'Cause everybody's doin' it, all across
the land
Masturbators Of America, Give Yourselves A Hand!
It's natural, and organic
It's easy and it's fun
If you don't know how to do it ask your parents how it's
done
You don't need a special license
You don't need a special skill
Just unzip and slip your grip between your hips and get a
thrill
'Cause everybody's doin' it, and boy does
it feel grand,
Masturbators of America, Give Yourselves a Hand!
Musical bridge, with lots of suggestive dance moves on
the ROCKER'S part. For instance, he does that one bit
where you jump backwards on one leg while playing air guitar,
except that instead of playing air guitar he's stroking
air puller.
You can do it in the bathroom
You can do it in your bed
You can do it at a concert while you watch the Grateful Dead
You can rub it with some lotion
You can stroke it with a cloth
Some pounds it, other jacks it off
Your attitude will soften, your horizons will expand.
Masturbators of America, Give Yourself a Hand!
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